Crude comes to you live from Nebraska this week. And today I learned that supposedly caddyshack happens in Nebraska! I’m not sure I believe this, but I believe Claire is the best in the business at what she does. And what she does is a drug blog.
I do other things.
Let’s talk Crude!
Rhea Ripley is not cleared for money in the bank. Possibly due to the mouth injury from a few weeks ago. Me, me and wish Rhea a speedy recovery!
Rhea’s absence creates a void. WWE has decided that the best way to fill that void is to crown a new contender Bianca Belair through a Fatal 5 Way match. Asuka, Becky Lynch, Carmella, Liv Morgan and Alexa Bliss kicked off the show this week in a battle for supremacy.
And you know what? He started out very sloppy. Alexa and Liv had most of the spotlight in the opening minutes and it was just silly. Both women rolled around the ring in cribs or Rolling Gedo Clutches looking for pinfall. And it didn’t feel like a fight, which is what I need from my wrestling. It was very choreographed and silly. The fight didn’t improve when Becky, Asuka and Carmella entered. The match lacked rhythm, sharpness and speed.
The match picked up in the second half, luckily, and turned into a very good affair. Maybe they just needed to get their feet wet.
Carmella got the surprising W after doing what she does best: surviving. Becky Mahdle Slam Liv Morgan. Asuka broke the pin. Liv blocked Alexa’s Twisted Bliss attempt with double knees. And before capitalizing, Liv ate a Superkick from Mella.
Carmella and Bianca Belair in money in the bank, ladies and gentlemen. Perfect match for Bianca, which we hope will give us a fun week. I wish they had more than a week to build this match, but hey, that’s nobody’s fault here.
Side note: WWE writers really need a thesaurus because they are abusing the “opportunity”.
Becky, enraged, she lost still other the chance to take back what she feels is rightfully hers, she complained to Adam Pearce. Pearce, always a man of little backbone, reminded Becky of her previously scheduled Money in the Bank qualifying match with Asuka. Becky fell! But then Adam set the match for this week. Becky wasn’t down.
But she was ready. The minute Asuka walked out of the curtain for this week’s main event, Becky slapped her. I love it because yes, this shouldn’t be just another game. And two, Becky is frustrated with a lot of anger at Asuka.
She must attack you and this match must be personal. Becky’s story is now one of constant disappointment, so anyone in her path, especially Asuka, is killed on sight.
Surprising no one, these two put on a good main fight as Asuka dragged herself out of the beating Becky gave her. Becky was extremely aggressive for most of the fight, trying to get it over with as quickly as possible while putting more power into her punches and kicks.
At one point, Becky threw an uppercut at Asuka that knocked the Empress off the top turnbuckle and onto the floor. Illustrating her desperation through her move set is always a much-appreciated storytelling feature.
But everything turned for Becky when Asuka used her aggression against her. With Asuka outside the ring, Becky launched herself at her rival. Asuka knew what to expect and counterattacked with a knee to Becky’s jaw. That was it. Both women returned to the ring, Asuka reversed and hit both the Manhandle Slam and the Des-Arma-She, then knocked Becky down the next Monday with a thunderous roundhouse kick.
Becky took too many hits to the head and was unfocused against a better opponent. Count on me shocked by the result. Becky’s losses are piling up and I realized it all came to a head this week.
That’s why I don’t bet on wrestling.
As Asuka heads to the Money in the Bank match, the story here is still what will come from Ms. Lynch. How low does she go? Will WWE really keep another big star out of the July 4th weekend event? I do not think. I’m curious to know how Becky influences everything that revolves around the Crude women’s championship on July 2.
Look, the Elias Rock Concert was great. Not because we got a show, but because Elias was there with a beard, guitar in hand and frustrated Kevin Owens. This frustration grew when Ezekiel appeared on screen during the segment, following the two men appearing on screen together in an obviously pre-recorded segment.
Elias didn’t sing much, but he tuned his guitar on KO’s back.
KO, irate, challenged Elias, Ezekiel, or even his invisible little brother Elrod to a fight next week. Watch the entire segment for KO going to pieces as Ezekiel showed up backstage and accepted his challenge at the same time Elias was supposed to be in the ring and we never saw him walk backstage.
I was wrong that
Riddle and Omos had a good match. I didn’t expect to type those words when they announced the departure, but here we are. And what made him good was Riddle. The man sold very well to Omos, while still selling the rib injury from his match with Roman Reigns. Omos looked like a beast while Riddle looked like a guy full of heart. And pretty much just his heart, since the rest of his body was barely functioning. Omos took the best pictures of Riddle and kept moving. that’s why he goes money in the bank and Riddle is not.
Seth Rollins took to the ring after the match. Riddle mentioned his name in a pre-game promo, so of course Seth showed up. Hitting and laughing at a broken man is what Seth does. It worked to get a lot more heat on Seth while pleasing Riddle even more.
Bobby Lashley and Theory fared much better on the show this week. Instead of a main event spot for a pose, we caught them mid-show this week. And instead of a downward pose, we have Theory posing and then taking a beating. Lashley returned the favor and sprinkled baby oil on Theory’s face, then challenged Vince’s new favorite son to a championship match.
The theory convinced the world’s third worst WWE official – two guesses on who is first and second – to put Lashley in a gauntlet match and make him win a title match.
And it was great. Alpha Academy were his first two opponents. First Chad Gable, then Otis. And both men did a great heel job. Chad did it, no doubt, but for the most part, he was the perfect illustration for Bobby’s power. The best moment of the fight was Bobby pushing Chad out of the ring and onto the commentary table. The second best moment was Chad reversing a spear attempt on an Ankle Lock. But eventually he played Hurt Lock. Otis gave Lashley a beating, allowing Bobby to play the underdog role and show some vulnerability. After getting the DQ win – because of course Chad and Otis cheated – Lashley dealt with the final opponent: Theory. The theory lost because Lashley showed some resilience. Hell of a story and props for all the men involved.
Street Profits and Usos added another chapter to their rivalry this week. Angelo Dawkins faced his own right-hand man, Jey Uso. Last week we had Jimmy and Montez in a very good match but with Montez taking L. Angelo faced pressure to get the job done and get a win back for his team. While Profits have a win over Jimmy and Jey, it’s a count win. And despite how the Street Profits wear it, the Usos weren’t exactly hurting as a result of that count. Angelo proved that Jimmy and Jey aren’t perfect. When the moon is right, or hits someone’s eye like a big pizza pie, they can fall.
Angelo has shown that he is as agile and flying as Jey, without ever forgetting his power. The profits finally gave the bloodline members a reason to sweat thanks to Angelo taking the W. And I love Sky High as a finisher for him. Mainly because it makes me smile thinking about the greatest European champion of all time, D-Lo Brown. Shoutout to Helsinki!
Seriously, time out. We have Ciampa vs. AJ Styles with nothing. No construction. Without previous warning. No foreshadowing. Ciampa appeared during Miz TV and got his hands on AJ, then a wrestling match ensued. I don’t even know what to say about it other than that, because the whole ordeal is disappointing. Shockingly, AJ won and now it looks like he’s fighting with Miz.
Veer did a promo this week and it wasn’t great. Mainly because Veer’s delivery is hampered by the fact that English is not his first language. I don’t put it on him. Someone in management needs to know this. Putting talent in the winning position is big business in this world of sports entertainment professional wrestling.
Crude It was really good this week. Minus a few hiccups, I enjoyed the show.
That’s my grade and I’m sticking to it. Your time.